RUSD seeks new administrator

For immediate posting:

Large, rural-suburban-urban school district seeks energetic administrator to lead into 21st century. Candidate must be dynamic and have a thick skin; must be willing to accept criticism from all sides at all times and be second-guessed on all decisions. The candidate should be embraced by the business community, community leaders, teaching staff, parents, and taxpayers regardless of how impossible that would be.

Job duties include:

1. Engaging apathetic community members.
2. Teaching parents how to be parents.
3. Raising test scores 100% in the first year. (Anything less will be considered a failure by the public).
4. Bringing innovation to the teaching and learning division in such a way that the teaching staff does not realize they are doing anything different.
5. A complete understanding of the budgeting process.
6. Ensuring every child’s bus ride is less than 10 minutes, additionally; door-to-door service must be provided for all.
7. All the above must be accomplished without spending any additional tax dollars.

Only qualified candidates need apply. Salary and benefits package will be determined by the local tax payer advocacy group.